The recent Budget announcement by Tory Chancellor George Osborne, to levy VAT on freshly baked hot pies and pasties sold at a higher than the external ‘ambient temperature’ is the last straw for most ordinary folk in Britain’s ‘Pie Capital’.
The tax raised is needed, according to the Government to help plug its current annual budget deficit. Also, to help pay back the cost of the Bank bail-outs, the huge £40bn annual interest payments on Britain’s national debt, and to finance the tax breaks of £40k plus for the nation’s high earners, who mostly avoid paying any tax if they can, and seem according to the popular media, determined to leave the country and take their wealth and ‘wealth creating skills’ elsewhere, should taxes on their earning rise at all, even theoretically.
Speaking outside a local Bakery in Wigan, leader of the newly formed ‘People’s Front Against The Hot Pie Tax’ (PFATHPT) launched at a mass meeting of seething Pie-Eaters earlier this week, Minesa Chickenbalti said:
“These self-serving greedy rich bastards have gone a step too far, and we believe nothing short of a nationwide coalition of all the hot pie and pasty eating public committed to a programme of mass industrial and political action is going to stop the buggers.
“It seems absolutely nothing is sacred! The hike in tax on fags, booze and petrol, council rent rises, local Hospital Ward closures, and huge cuts in the NHS and other public sector budgets, thousands of public sector and other workers getting the bullet, pay cuts or pay freezes for most, 25% unemployment amongst our young people, cuts in tax credits and benefits for those disabled, sick and/or on low incomes is bad enough, but this is the pits – just where is it going to stop! Aren’t this Government of millionaires and their wealthy backers rich enough yet? What we call for instead of this spiteful tax on the hot pie and pasty eating public is a selfish, greedy, money grabbing, exploitative bastards’ tax. But we are only ever going to get that by kicking out the present Government, and establishing in its place, a Government of pie & pasty eaters, steak slice and sausage roll fanciers.
“They say we’re all in it together, but that’s a load of bollocks! I’ve never seen any member of the Cabinet or a rich guy eating a hot pie, or a meat and potato Pasty from Galloway’s, Greenalgh’s or Gregg’s” Minesa said.
Speaking on behalf of a rival group also opposed to the new tax, Iama Pastyman from the Pie-Eater’s Liberation Front (PELF) said: “We’ve not liked much of what the Coalition has been dishing out since the General Election, but this really is the last straw”.
“What we need is an immediate General Strike to bring down the Government and the creation of a Pie & Pasty Utopia. Only PELF can can lead the mass of the hot pie and pasty eating public to victory! The other lot are splitters and their activities are a diversion from the real fight” Iama said.
According to the PELF all those opposed to the new tax should immediately join their organisation, shun all the other groups fighting the tax, zealously recruit more members to PELF, religiously sell PELF’s newspaper and pay a fair slice of their income in dues to the group. They should also just do what PELF’s leading body in London, the PELF’s ‘PolitPieBuro’, tells them. If every hot pie and pasty eater did that” Iama said: “…then our success is assured!”
PFATHPT have organised a Wigan Town Centre protest on Saturday supported by a range of groups and organisations. PELF have organised a town centre stall and a paper sale. Both groups say they are for the unity of all hot pie and pasty eaters and not just against the hot pie & pasty tax.
Watch this space for further news of Wigan’s Hot Pie & Pasty Tax revolt.