Tory Hot Pie Tax – Last Straw for Most Wiganers

Freshly baked, £1.35 Galloway's Meat & Potato Pies are to cost £1.62 on colder days to help pay for the Bank bail-outs and tax breaks for the rich - a last straw for most Wiganers!

The recent Budget announcement by Tory Chancellor George Osborne, to levy VAT on freshly baked hot pies and pasties sold at a higher than the external ‘ambient temperature’ is the last straw for most ordinary folk in Britain’s ‘Pie Capital’.

The tax raised is needed, according to the Government to help plug its current annual budget deficit. Also, to help pay back the cost of the Bank bail-outs, the huge £40bn annual interest payments on Britain’s national debt, and to finance the tax breaks of £40k plus for the nation’s high earners, who mostly avoid paying any tax if they can, and seem according to the popular media, determined to leave the country and take their wealth and ‘wealth creating skills’ elsewhere, should taxes on their earning rise at all, even theoretically.

Speaking outside a local Bakery in Wigan, leader of the newly formed ‘People’s Front Against The Hot Pie Tax’ (PFATHPT) launched at a mass meeting of seething Pie-Eaters earlier this week, Minesa Chickenbalti said:

“These self-serving greedy rich bastards have gone a step too far, and we believe nothing short of a nationwide coalition of all the hot pie and pasty eating public committed to a programme of mass industrial and political action is going to stop the buggers.

“It seems absolutely nothing is sacred! The hike in tax on fags, booze and petrol, council rent rises, local Hospital Ward closures, and huge cuts in the NHS and other public sector budgets, thousands of public sector and other workers getting the bullet, pay cuts or pay freezes for most, 25% unemployment amongst our young people, cuts in tax credits and benefits for those disabled, sick and/or on low incomes is bad enough, but this is the pits – just where is it going to stop! Aren’t this Government of millionaires and their wealthy backers rich enough yet? What we call for instead of this spiteful tax on the hot pie and pasty eating public is a selfish, greedy, money grabbing, exploitative bastards’ tax. But we are only ever going to get that by kicking out the present Government, and establishing in its place, a Government of pie & pasty eaters, steak slice and sausage roll fanciers.

“They say we’re all in it together, but that’s a load of bollocks! I’ve never seen any member of the Cabinet or a rich guy eating a hot pie, or a meat and potato Pasty from Galloway’s, Greenalgh’s or Gregg’s” Minesa said.

The new Hot Pie & Pasty Tax threatens the future of Wigan's equivalent of the Olympics - The World Pie Eating Championship. Locally based World Championship Pie Eaters have also threatened to take their skills elsewhere and eat pies for other countries, unless the tax is withdrawn!

Speaking on behalf of a rival group also opposed to the new tax, Iama Pastyman from the Pie-Eater’s Liberation Front (PELF) said: “We’ve not liked much of what the Coalition has been dishing out since the General Election, but this really is the last straw”.

“What we need is an immediate General Strike to bring down the Government and the creation of a Pie & Pasty Utopia. Only PELF can can lead the mass of the hot pie and pasty eating public to victory! The other lot are splitters and their activities are a diversion from the real fight” Iama said.

According to the PELF all those opposed to the new tax should immediately join their organisation, shun all the other groups fighting the tax, zealously recruit more members to PELF, religiously sell PELF’s newspaper and pay a fair slice of their income in dues to the group. They should also just do what PELF’s leading body in London, the PELF’s ‘PolitPieBuro’, tells them. If every hot pie and pasty eater did that” Iama said: “…then our success is assured!”

PFATHPT have organised a Wigan Town Centre protest on Saturday supported by a range of groups and organisations. PELF have organised a town centre stall and a paper sale. Both groups say they are for the unity of all hot pie and pasty eaters and not just against the hot pie & pasty tax.

Watch this space for further news of Wigan’s Hot Pie & Pasty Tax revolt.

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3 Responses to Tory Hot Pie Tax – Last Straw for Most Wiganers

  1. Martin says:

    A HOT PIE TAX, sounds so laughable if it was not so serious a true reflection of what this ConDem Coalition really stands for. Only 10% of these cuts have been implemented so far, with the privatisation of the NHS, education with increased School Academies and attacking the Welfare State and closing Remploy centres! Just wait when the other 90% of cuts are implemented, there won’t even be a piece of crust from the pie left for anyone, never mind the crumbs left over from the rich man’s ETONIAN table !!!

  2. I have recently had the following email sent to me from someone who says due to harrasment she wishes to remain anonymous. In line with the spirit of the article I forward the following extract, which captures the essence of her distressing story.

    “I am afraid that this article, as good as it is, only tells half the story. I feel it gives insufficient attention to the internal regime of both organisation which feature in the post. For example I was expelled from both PATHPT and PELF. In the first case for bringing a cornish pasty into the borough. I was told by the executive committee members of PAYHPT (dominated by the pie faction) that it was the wrong shape, a disgrace to the authentic pasty shapes of the north and not to be compared to a real hard-line pie . My appeal against expulsion was on the basis we should be fighting for an end to discrimination, more internal democracy and for the pastie eaters of the world to unite, but this was ruled out of order as being utopian, idealistic and against all the accumulated wisdom of the pie-eating fraternity. I immediately joined PELF but came up against the same type of reaction. In fairness PELF offered to postpone my expulsion if I would keep my opinions to myself, not broadcast them outside the organisation and toe the party line in future. I refused and now I am banned from the pasty shops throughout borough and am forced to bake my own. Worse still, after my experience at the hands of the pie faction just looking at a pie, now turns my stomach and I used to eat them a lot”

    I hope this helps your readers to understand the situation much better and be better able to join in the campaign to end sectarian discrimination among all who campaign for a better diet.

    In solidarity,

    Roy Ratcliffe an independent non-sectarian pasty activist.

  3. Stephen Hall says:

    I think your correspondent is somewhat confused, which I supposed is hardly surprising given the numerous divisions in pie and pasty eaters’ circles. The PATHPT and PAYHPT are both very small organisations and should not be confused with the recently formed ‘People’s Front Against The Hot Pie Tax’ (PFATHPT) referred to in the article, which is a broad alliance opposed to the tax on hot pasties, embracing pasty eaters, unlike the narrow purist pie eating sects like PATHPT and PAYHPT (the latter of which she right says in dominated by the Pie Faction). Both the latter are generally loathsome of all pasty eaters in general, and Cornish ones in particular, and both categorically reject any form of alliance with them even against an attack which is clearly detrimental to both pie and pasty eaters alike. Also, PELF which while embracing pasty eaters, believes the leading role in the struggle belongs to the nation’s pie-eaters. They alsooperate more like a Party than a broad campaigning alliance. I can well understand her mistreatment at the hands of all three of these organisations, as all three are a bunch of head cases in most Wiganers eyes and not true Pie Eaters. It’s such a tragedy that your correspondent’s stomach should now turn even at the sight of a pie.

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